This year, my dear sweet,
I’m gonna give you a special treat.
No candy or red flowers,
‘Cause love has its own power.

I’ll break it all down for you this way,
So you know just what I’m tryin’ to say.
These lovely words for you that I bring,
Are so much better than shiny bling, bling.

No, really, that’s not some lame excuse.
Hey, baby, why the sudden abuse?
Look, I’m really such a nice dude.
So why you gotta go being so rude?

What do you mean I’m really just cheap?
This year’s prices are unreasonably steep.
Everyone knows the economy’s rough.
If you wanted something fancy, tough!

Say, you make it impossible to be romantic,
When you go pokin’ holes in my semantics,
And now, you see, I’m totally pissed,
“Cause my immaculate rhymes have been dissed.

Yeah, that’s right, what if I am cryin’?
Is that an impulse I should be denyin’?
Yes, I do consider myself a man.
I like various sports and beverages in cans.

What do you mean, I should go get a job?
No, I don’t sit here all day like a blob.
Watching TV isn’t the only thing I do.
I put a lot of effort into video games too.

You already make enough for both of us.
So I don’t really understand the big fuss.
Look here, Your Highness, Your Majesty.
Let’s just put an end to this travesty.

Once you see me win the Big Lotto,
You’ll be the first to change your motto.
I’ll give you all you want, up to 50 percent.
If it makes you happy, I’ll even help with the rent.

For now, let’s just forgive and forget.
Enjoy the rest of this poem, since it’s all that you’ll get.
Next year when I’m rich, I’ll give you something fine.
Until then, girl, just be my valentine.