I just died. Best feeling in the world!
Oh, what a relief to have my spirit unfurled.
And now I know the truth. It’s a bit more clear.
Gotta wait in a line, purgatory for a year.

Before I get in Heaven, my case will get reviewed.
A bureaucratic process, by some angel dude.
Just some paperwork, with a background check.
I’ve been good enough. They won’t send me to Heck.

In fact, I have a balance, a healthy surplus.
Only many years of evil would ruin this for us.
In the meantime, I can do what I want.
So, be warned, suckas. It’s time for a haunt.

I’ll get you when you’re driving, make your car have a wreck.
Or whisper sweet nothings when you try to have sex.
Be careful on the stairs, you might feel a sudden push.
And also during picnics, I’ll jump out of a bush!

Do you like taking naps? Well, that’s too bad.
I’ll see you in your dreams, and make you real sad.
No escape for you. I’ll find what you fear most.
Even in a church, you’ll be confessing to a ghost!

Hey, what’s happening? Getting reincarnated.
This would negate everything I just stated.
My case was expedited, results incomplete.
Someone heard my plans, didn’t find them so sweet.

Guess I was mistaken. My logic had a flaw.
Maybe that’s the lesson. Don’t fuck with cosmic law.
Oh, shit! I just cursed, and then I did it again.
Hope it doesn’t count, till things really begin.

And… Oh. I was just born. ‘Sup, new Mom?